What comes may.

Too long... Too tiring.

2007-02-21T10:48:00.000-08:00

I wish i could undo the past, so that i'd forget everything once and for all.
I wish that there wasn't you at all, so that things would be brand new for me again.
I wish that there was more that i could do, so i could at least, start anew.
I wish that those memories will be forsaken, so that there won't be any traces of you.

I wish... I wish that you'd just disappear.

But somehow, somewhere, in the corner of my mind.

You're still there.

First day.

2007-02-08T09:05:00.000-08:00

It feels good to start everything all over again. And it defintiely feels real good to be in LOVE.

9th of Feb, this day, it marks alot of things. More happiness to come, and of course, a partner to join me along for this journey of life.

I love you Janice. :) And you know i always will.

Life's a meaning.

2006-07-13T06:24:00.000-07:00

I realised that life's actually a long learning journey. Basically, it meant that we have to do some occasional soul searching, and then understanding the needs for living. Meanings of living? You've gotta search that deep down inside you. It's somewhere down there, deep down inside of you.

Human changes as the tough environment gets tougher. It's a all for yourself when you're out there in the world, you're all alone fighting for air to breathe. Constraint with limited space, the weaker ones are being eliminated every each day. In order to remain in the competition and be the cream of the crop, you tend to destroy, just as much as sacrifices are being made to substain. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. But you've got to be cautious with what you do cause at the end of the day, your life should be a meaningful one.

Meanings of life first starts with self-reflection, without that, you probably won't even understand yourself to begin with.

Gone for too long.

2006-05-21T02:14:00.000-07:00

You were there all along... You pulled me through the toughest times and held me at all odds.
but i didn't took notice of it.
You accompanied me when i needed you the most. And put the brightest smile when i was at my lowest form.
I guess i took it all granted.
Your voice was the sweetest melody i heard of. You changed my world to a brighter place and shown me all.
but i thrown it all away.
Now that i want you back in my life again, and to reassure you that everything will work out fine again.
you decided to walk out of my life.

Memories of you will always remain vivid. And no, this doesn't apply to who you think it might be ESTHER!

Time a factor.

2006-05-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

Thanks for remind that i need to blog Sis. Ha. I've been quite nua lately. Can't get myself to focus on what i wanna write. Just somehow or another, i'll get drifted away while thinking of what to write.

Just got back home from camp yesterday. Outfield to 'febua' near Lim Chu Kang cemetery. 'Febua' a term for urban warfare. Was pretty dumb and ridiculous to perform some drills that's really redundant. I'll still prefer jungle trainings! Sigh. This June will actually mark the seventh month of my NS. I can't deny it but really, time passes fast. Soon... I hope the next thing i realise will be my ORD date.

Here's a recapped of what happened last week. Went to watch 2 movies with 2 different people on 2 different days, Poseidon and MI 3. Poseidon... An exact scenario of Titanic. So don't actually bother watching it... It's pretty boring for you will roughly figure out what comes out next from the scenes. MI 3; Hmmm... Pretty good but exaggerating too. Clubbed my life away too with them. Them refers to my bunkmates in BMT which includes Kaushal, Yew Jin, Aaron Chia, Terence, Arif, Boon. MOS was bad and it's getting worse. But heck, the only reason why i bother going there is because of them. It's not the music nor the crowd and not even the drinks that matters. It's the company that matter most. Well... That's all for now cause really, my braincells aren't functioning too well. So till then, adios.

Heck.

2006-05-05T00:10:00.000-07:00

Just got back from what you call ... Camp. Shrugs. This week flew by pretty fast as there was no physical training at all. But somehow, my body's aching for it. Ha. Human are simply ironic, or is it just the way i am?

I'm still suffering from the culture shock. Am still suffering. Been 7 weeks... Woah. Wonder how i've pulled through all that shit. Complains complains complains. Not from me, but from the superior. Was called for an interview because of my attitude. Was quoted as unfriendly, hostile, quiet, not helpful at all and not making any contribution to anything. Finally, it took all these dumb fuckers so long for to realise all of that.

Reasons being why i'm like this is because I'm sick of everyone there. I'm sick of the place there. I'm sick of all the things that i've to go through even though i went through most of it. The whole course is redundant. I end up being a GUARD. Those that end up standing infront of that damn metal gates and guarding the shit out of that place. Let me enlighten you something that make things a complete change for me. In that interview booklet that everyone of us has, i was quoted as "Outspoken, Did well for BMT Test and Gained respect from instructors". Am not trying to boast whatever fcuk shit i've done but honestly, how can things come to a complete change just like this? Just a snap of finger and welcome to the new me. Is this what NATIONAL SERVICE do to you? Yes... Very much. It changes one. It changes me to be more hostile to every single one out there in my camp. Oh, NS teaches us something called sucking of thumb/s. You suck one of it when you are asked to do it, and you suck both of it when you're asked to do something that's not necessary. Kudos!

Well, i've been asked to communicate more with those geeks and selfish bastards in my camp. Do i have a choice to choose who i want to be? No. So... Now i'm sucking both my big thumbs and gotta do what i've been asked to. Failure to do so, results in more confinements OR out of course? Which i'd really love the latter consequence. But balls, to them, it's only confinements that makes things go moving. So... yeah. This is the sickest shit i've ever come across. Thanks alot.

So sick...

2006-04-30T23:28:00.000-07:00

This entry will be pretty boring as i'm just writing for the sake of updating my blog.... So heck, here it goes.

Booked out early on Friday. Clubbed on Friday with Xianhan, Dick and Wen Xing. Didn't do anything much. Just a plain normal chill out night.

Met up with Kaushal in the late Saturday noon to head down gym at Bedok. This asshole here is the next additional to my list; my closest buddy. That fag was supposed to join the rest of us later in the evening to club but then again, something cropped us so... Yup. So headed down to meet tekong mates for DXO. Got dead drunk, bad hangover but still, the fun we had... It was more than just words. There's something deep within that makes it all fun. Perhaps the bond we share...? Or is it because of the fact that of us being true and natural to one another that makes it all simple and good? Well, i'd reckon the latter answer makes a better sense. True feelings, straight talks, and of course, enjoying the accompanion of each and single one.

Sunday... Met up with my secondary sch friends, Jeanne and WeiJian just to have coffee. Following up was meeting up with Xianhan, Jianwei, Jason, Dick and a friend of theirs, Michelle to catch the show "When A Stranger Calls'. Pretty nice show but not detailed enough. Would rate a 3 out of 5. It'd be a great lesson taught to stalkers. Went for supper at HongKong cafe and then to East Coast. Everything ended about 5 plus. And today's a Labour day. Which means my book in day. So i shall just stay at home and be good.

Ahhhh. I'm getting broke. I hate this feeling.

Mates.

2006-04-19T21:36:00.001-07:00

I'm gonna get confined this weekend. Yay! Just for using number lock instead of those pad lock? Yay! 3 cheers for those dumb motherfuckers sergeants! I'm so gonna miss Kaushal and YewJin!!! I ain't gonna see them this week !!! So we shall rock the club next weekend instead! Sigh...

Mates.

2006-04-19T21:36:00.000-07:00

Lost.

2006-04-16T04:06:00.000-07:00

Wrote a poem for fun. No meanings to it... So it goes.

I always thought that it was just temporary,
But never has it occur to me,
That things will turn out this way.
I've lost the touch of loving,
Lost the meaning of cherishing.

It came and go,
Hardly any chance for me to catch it.
As much as i hate to admit,
I'm still lost in between the land and the highest peak.
Ain't pushing the blame,
But you're the reason for all of it.

We,
A word i once used.
But the term has already come to a halt.
Tell me,
Was it all my fault?
Or is it something more?

Those memories captured in my mind,
Isn't like any of those photograph.
You can't deny those smiles on it,
Nor can you just throw them into a pit.
They will always be with me,
Even till the day when i'm buried.

I'm writing this on a Sunday evening,
Accompanied by the monsoon raining,
This is definitely a painful tragedy.
The countless pleadings,
And the heart that's been left bleeding.

Are you ever coming back to me?
Or are you better off without me?
Give me an answer,
For you know it's painful to live.
Meantime while waiting,
I hope you realise i'm suffering.

Life...

2006-04-13T04:31:00.000-07:00

Heh. Haven't blog for a long while. Kinda lazy to actually do so but heck, i'm gonna enter a long entry this time round.

Passed out from Tekong on 15th of March. Thought i'd be posted to some really slack unit or some really 'garang' shit but fuck, i ended up in this place called Changi Naval Base. I'm called a sea soldier, neither navy nor army. My main duty is to protect the entire place and assure that it's safe. Put it in simpler words, i'm a guard. Or would you like to call that security guard? Ha. No pride in whatever i do, no sense of pride at all. Yes, pride is very important to me. I won't deny that. Really really tough training. Run like 6km a day easily, swim like a whore, and physical training wise, it makes no difference. And guess what, i can't smoke AT ALL as this place is what they call a SMOKE FREE BASE. Please, someone tell me how dumb that shit is. The officers and specialists there? FUCK THEM HARD. REALLY. Fucking regimental shit, fucking unreasonable bastards who don't give a damn care bout your welfare, fucking give you confinements as if it's nothing. Really, fuck these fuckers so hard their mom won't recognise them. Pardon me for being so harsh and vulgar, but seriously, they deserve more than just that.

I really really wish that i would have stayed in Tekong for good. Really, for just that god damn 2 years that i owe the government. It's how ironic how one can be... First i looked forward to passing out of tekong, now i really really regretted how i've felt back then. I miss my entire platoon! Dragon platoon 3, the best place that you really want to be. Yes, obese company. Or should i said we were obese-d back then? Now... It's a different story. I really miss everyone back there. Sergeants, Officers, Bunkmates, Platoon mates... You name it.

Sigh, guess i'll just have to suck up my thumb really hard and just endure 8 more weeks of hell. A place whereby i really hate to return, a place where you don't feel a sense of togetherness nor pride in it.... Good day to all.

National Service.

2006-01-22T01:54:00.000-08:00

Poof, i'm back again. I'm still alive and kicking. Haven't been updating my blog for a long time. NS' been good so far... Survived field camp. Slimmed down 10Kg ever since the start, and gonna lose more.

Been spending 3-4 weeks with Esther and co, spent like a few weeks with my own clique, and yeah, spending time with bambi. Chinese New Year's coming... I'm anticipating for it! That's all for now... Going back to Tekong once again. Signing off.

When boys become men.

2005-12-01T11:32:00.000-08:00

In another 4 hours time, i'll be at Tekong. A place where i'll be confined. A place where there's no freedom. A place where i'll become a man... I wish to blog alot alot of things but then again, nothing constructive is going into my head.

Gee, I'm gonna hate the feeling of not being with my family for 2 weeks. It gonna hurt me bad. Not that i'm sounding like a wus, but i've never ever parted my family for more than a week. This is gonna be a time for me to be independent. I seriously hope time's gonna pass fast. I really hope so. Meantime, i'll be back in 2 weeks time. Till then, take care my friends and goodbye....

Fragile.

2005-11-24T06:31:00.000-08:00

Counting down to Dec 2nd. I'm starting to miss work. I don't know why either. I miss the people there! Sigh. I've been going out every single day ever since i quited my job. Went out on Monday to Mr Bean with juan and esther. Went to Minds cafe on Tuesday with esther, weida , juan , mating, patrick, raye. Went to Zouk on Wedneday with the usual clique. Went to Suntec today with celina and evelyn, going out to meet juan, esther, and da at hk cafe. Soon my money will all be dried up. I need my pay very very much! I haven't gotten a birthday gift for my birthday yet. I'M FEELING BAD ABOUT IT! Gonna make full use of my remaining time to spend with people who i've missed out. Tampines gang on Monday/Tuesday i hope. Ciaos.

Bittersweet.

2005-11-14T12:18:00.000-08:00

My last week at Altivo. 4 more days of working. I really hate to say this, but i'm gonna miss everything that's there. I'm gonna miss my bosses, my colleagues and perhaps, some really nice customers. Departure sometimes can be quite a tedious thing, i've gotta write a resignation letter, return uniform and stuff like that.

Sigh, it's been 2 months since i started working. And i mean two complete months with just mere off days. Time really passes too quickly for us to even realise it. I'm not gonna waste my youth anymore. This job has given me an extra edge in life. Everyone taught me how the working society works, how polictics comes about, how to avoid trouble, and how to be tolerant with certain things that you have to put up with. I appreciate it alot despite being scolded for stupid mistakes, being scolded for redundant stuff but still, now i've finally learnt how to accept it instead of arguing back. This job... The one that i'll always remember. The people who taught me lessons in life that money can't buy.... The tedious chores of shifting heavy items and washing of dishes... All these, i've learnt and am learning... All these... Will always remain as lessons in my life. All these... I know that i'm gonna miss dearly.

NS... Mentally unprepared. Physically wise... Needless to say. I'm still round. I wanna get done with this shit and continue my studies... December 2nd. The day that seals my fate for 2 years. Goodbye to the modern world, welcome to the jungleshit.

You caught my eyes and allowed my heart to skip a beat. Unknowingly, those shimmering eyes of yours seems to brighten up the dark, and your everlasting smile that melts my heart. I know i would love every moment with you. But for now, i can only adore you in my heart. Till then...

For the first time, these sweet uttering words matches how i feel. And seriously, for the very first time. Only fate decides.

Sigh.

2005-11-06T07:23:00.000-08:00

Quiting work on November 20. Entering NS on December 2. Gonna party like mad for 11 days. Great. NS, HERE I COME!

Pieces.

2005-11-03T11:59:00.000-08:00

I'd like to annouce that i'm going National Service on the 2nd of December. To be happy or sad, i'm not exactly sure which one i should be feeling. But i think im gonna miss alot of things in my life. Family, friends and surprisingly, work. It's ironic how things can be... First i hated this Fnb job so much that i wished i could quit it but then again, as time passes, the people around seems to interest me to work. Now that i'm planning to resign, there's something that tickles me quite abit. Some sort of bittersweet feeling that you know you have to go, but your heart doesn't want to. Ahhh... It's just plain crazy.

Well to finish off my this entry, i'd like to wish you Happy Birthday. I hope that you're doing fine there and that everything's been good. Another year has gone by, i hope the hatred in you has \subside...

ClubClubClub.

2005-10-29T15:07:00.000-07:00

Life's been club club club ever since my suspension started. I've been contemplating if i should quit my current job as a waiter and find a better job or should i just stay for 1 more month before i MIGHT get enlist during December.

I've been to Mhd Sultan on Friday and Saturday, Friday was at Madam Wong with Ray, Jason, Xianhan and Jonathan. And no, i didn't enjoy myself. It wasn't fantastic. Saturday was at Liquidroom. Ahhh, now i really enjoy myself because of the accompanion. Dick gave a surprise that's not very much of a surprise, he showed up when he claimed that he was supposed to book out on Sunday instead of Saturday. It was fun! Music was good too. But for now... Snap back to reality. Work starts on Monday. Screw it.

Phuture.

2005-10-27T04:22:00.000-07:00

Was at phuture last night and i swear it's one of the worst nights i've ever been in. I was really really tipsy and i started doing senseless things. Things that i wouldn't want to elaborate for it's really embarrassing! NO MORE ALCOHOL AS FROM TODAY ONWARDS. NO MORE!

Shattered.

2005-10-14T16:26:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, my diary. Now i've finally have the mood to blog even though i'm kinda tipsy. Just came back from Chinablack. Went with colleagues and gee, it's never easy to refuse drinks offered to you.

Work has been fine except the fact that i've gotten myself into a fight. I know it's dumb, really really dumb. But then again, tolerance has its limits as well. I wouldn't wish to elaborate it now, well maybe just a couple of days later then i'll sum the whole entire story down.

Ok, now for the ironic part. Work is nice, easy and good. BUT, a very big but. I'm not spending time with my friends. People that's important in my life seems so vague. I've lost the sense of communicating them even though i may have time. It's just weird. Apparently, it seems that i'm getting myself out of life. I miss everybody! Eugene Yeo, Salim, Dick, Ray, Jianwei, Esther and everyone thats important to me. I'd LOVE to meet every single one of them but then again, i'm restricted. I feel so trapped. I feel so... So... Lost. Is it time for me to get a job that doesn't cause that much time of my night life? I ponder.

My primary sch friend is having her wedding soon. I appreciate for the very fact that i've been invited for it. But then again, i don't think i'll be able to make it as i'm mainly occupied with my job. Shrugs, this is getting sick. I need some air to breathe! I'm gasping and running out of breath. No doubt, working trains me to handle all kind of things i've never done before in my life. Things like washing of plates, cups, cutleries. Ah, i guess i'll be as good as a housewife in future. Oh well, it's 7.40am in the morning and i've gotta work later on. So i'll continue the rest of my ranting some other days. So long... And million thanks to people who pay attention to my blog even though it's dull. Ciaos.

Let it burn.

Momentarily.

2005-10-10T01:19:00.000-07:00

Went to club with colleagues last week at DevilsBar. Bad ambience, bad music but hot ladies. Ah. Somehow i find that blogging can become such a pain in the head. Ok, shall update further if i've more idea.

Dreadful.

2005-10-05T02:22:00.000-07:00

Off yesterday. Met Dada and QQ for dinner last nite at East Coast. As usual, she was highly irritated by both of us. Esther's mom came to fetch me and then headed to HongKong Cafe. Kenneth and Juan came along too! Kenneth changed alot! No more pimples and looks so much better. Things in NS are certainly much positive then what we actually imagine... Looking forward to the 2 years chalet.

seeking solace in silence.

Off day.

2005-09-29T00:43:00.000-07:00

My car is back in the carpark, but the key is nowhere to be found. My aunt's away from Singapore, and i guess she took the key along as well. Great! I'm banned from driving for good! It's time to take class 2b. ESTHER CHIN, I'M WAITING FOR YOU TO DO SO TOGETHER.

I had my off day yesterday. Nice... Finally a day for me to sleep longer than usual. Went out with Esther, Weida and Juan last nite. Met at HK Cafe to eat and talk. Took lotsa crazy pictures and videos. Esther was caught smoking while Juan was trying her best to cry while taking video. Sigh, i miss my clique BADLY! Say goodbye to outings at night, say hello to work in the evening. Ahhh..... A good day to die. Off to work NOW.

Monotonous.

2005-09-27T12:49:00.000-07:00

I really really really HATE to work as a WAITER. It sucks BIG time. I'm gonna scout for a new job! I can barely breathe from my this current job! Reason being, my work starts at 4.45pm at most of the times, and i only get to finish it at 3am. So when i get home, it's probably bout 4am? Ok, then i'll take a shower, surf my net, and play some game. Then i'll sleep at bout 6-7am. So i'll wake up bout 2.30pm and then off to work. THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR DAYS, I WOULDNT WANT TO SEE IT BECOMING WEEKS !!! Ok. I whined. Now i'm feeling great. =)

FUCKSHIT.

2005-09-23T14:52:00.000-07:00

Problems problems problems... Troubles troubles troubles... It seems that i'm inviting every single shit of that ever since that accident. One thing leads to another... This is getting so fcuked up.

Shrugs.

2005-09-22T14:49:00.000-07:00

Life's been work work work work work. I'm kinda sick of the idea of waking up in the noon, bathe and stuff, then head down to work. It's beginning to become so monotonous for me. I need my LIFE back. My nightlife with my clique. Oh yeah, i'm working in Altivo, right on top of Mt. Faber. A pretty nice place to chill and hang out in, but not to the extend of 6 days per week. That's sick shit.

Sigh,
how i wish that i didn't got into accident!
how i wish that i can drive like NOW!
how i wish that i've got a job that suits my liking.
how i wish that i'd be able to correct things in life.
how i wish... i wish... that i'd be able to return back in time.

But then again, wishes will always be wishes. Not realistic. Fcuk it. I'm out.

Tranquility.

2005-09-20T17:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, it's nice when you don't know/care bout anything. Cause what you don't know will not hurt you. But then the truth will come to light one way or another. How i wish... I really wish. That i've been much ignorant.

Work.

2005-09-15T13:20:00.000-07:00

First day of work today. Still pretty much aite. Most people there are friendly and humourous, but then again, i so fcuking hate the idea of working. It's not just working, it's probably because i'm working as a WAITER. And FOOD AND BEVERAGE ISNT MY CUP OF TEA! I really really really don't don't don't like it !!! Sigh, but i'm left without choice. I'm gonna work this fcuking pile of big big shit for 3 months before i can actually pay for the damages. LIMBEI BO HUA YI ! I'M VERY UNHAPPY ! WO HEN BU GAO XIN !

Shrugs.

2005-09-14T12:04:00.000-07:00

Life's funny. One moment you feel like you have everything under your feet, but the very next moment, you may end up losing every single bit of it. Sigh, such reptitions is perhaps due to the very fact that things will never last for good? Quite true, at least to a certain extend.

I've got a job as a waiter. I don't know why but apparently it seems that i'm dreading the idea of working as one. Yet, whether i like it or not, i still have to do it as i know that if i don't start to work now, i'll start to laze again. AND, that's when the clearing of my blardy debt will never be solved. Sigh sigh sigh, work starts tomorrow. Indeed, a good day to die.

It's barely less than a week and i'm beginning to miss my clique. 3 went in NS and what's left are the 5 of us. Perhaps it's just the routine we often had seems to be major cause of it. But well, you'll have to adapt to life. NS NS NS. When you guys fcuking rejected my deferment from studying, i'm still alright with it. BUT, now that you guys don't wanna fcuking enlist me early, it's making me PISS. I WANNA START SCHOOL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE YOU FCUKERS !!!

Accident.

2005-09-12T02:45:00.000-07:00

I really really HATE the fact that i've gotten in accident! It totally FUCKS me up. I'm gonna ban myself from driving the car for at least 2 months. FUCKS. SHITS HAPPEN, and it fucking happened when i'm on my way out on the damn fucking PIE. I was looking at this motherfucker who was on the fucking expressway, and i fucked myself up by looking at him as well, AND the next thing i know, i was right behind the fucking lorry. The lorry's fine, just the metal bar got dented. My FUCKING CAR's bumper, headlights, bornet, coolent, aircont have to renew. FUCK THIS SHIT! Price to pay = 5 fucking fucking thousands. Imagine with that 5 fucking thousands, i could have gotten myself something really great and stuff. So to sum all that fucking shit that happened to me on that fucking unlucky night, i somehow landed myself with a job to pay the damn 5 fucking thousands. I expect myself to clear it all of it for i'm the one who knocked onto the lorry. It's damn damn fucking demoralised. SCREW THE TAXI DRIVER WHO E-BRAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY, SCREW THAT FUCKING LORRY FOR BEING THERE AT THE WRONG TIME, SCREW THAT FUCKING GUY WHO WAS AT THE ROAD, AND SCREW MYSELF FOR NOT PAYING ATTENTION. SO FUCKING SHIT!

So long my friend.

2005-09-08T15:08:00.000-07:00

Gonna make it simple for this post. A message to Jianwei; take care of yourself when you're in Tekong! All the best to you and cya soon. Sigh, next person to go in will be Dick and it's on the Sat, and Ray's turn on Monday. Departures... A moment that everyone least anticipate.

East Coast.

2005-08-29T01:16:00.000-07:00

Guess what, we've just found ourselves a new thing to do instead of going haunted places. And the new thing is something VERY torturing and tormenting. It's called the "007-Bang" game. We went to Thomson for prata then down to East Coast to chill. Shirley came along with us as well. So we sat down at the beach and then Jason suggested the game. Well, initially the game was supposed to be a "True or Dare" thing if you happen to lose out. BUT, a VERY BIG BUT, that bastard Jason came up with a crappy idea of using coins and heels to rub onto the sole of the loser. SO, as expected, Jonathan was our first victim. HAHAHAHAA. Then for the finale of everything, it was MY turn. And trust me, as far as i can remember, i've never seen Jonathan happier than before while torturing me. FCUKERS!

And ya, remember the drunkards compilations Xianhan and me came up with? We just claimed 3 victims on Saturday. First, the birthday boy, Mr Zhang Jian Wei. Second, MY BESTEST FRIEND, Emmanuel Dick Wang Liang Fu. And lastly, that guy who puked everything that he had eaten for the past 3 days, Ray! 3 COMPILATIONS IN ONE NIGHT INSTEAD OF TWO! For those who are curious on the aftermath of it, you can refer to Xianhan, our very dear photographer for the pictures. Yup yup, that's about all. Till then... I'm off.

Repetition.

2005-08-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

Aite, i went down to Tampines to meet Pussy, Darwin, Jevin, Weiliang, Zai, Lp, Wen for supper last night. And as usual, we went to Changi as the coffee shop we were previously in was too hot and stuffy. Ended bout 4 and i went back to sleep STRAIGHT AWAY.

Driving may seems fun and stuff, but it gets boring when you're the only one doing so. But not for today, imagine 3 bikes 'boxing' 1 car in the middle of the road. Haha, bastards bikers punking on the bastard driver who taught me reckless driving. Thank you very much. :) Met Dick in the evening along with Desmond and some few olders friends at Bishan for soccer. Uh huh, Harn, i'm still very determine to win the bet! And i'll be trying my very best to do so! Went over Dick's place for a shower then dinner at Singapore most popular kopitiam, block 284. Waited for the arrival of everyone then to Cine. Was supposed to catch a movie but then again, we didn't. So we planned to go down Cosybay to chill. BUT, we changed our minds to go OCH for hide and seek. NICE... Great idea! 9 of us, again the old number that's unknowingly becoming our very much regulation for visiting such places. Alas, nothing strange happened.

Sigh, Singapore is seriously SMALL. We just basically, supper, club, chill, drink, movies, haunted places, rounding and WHAT ELSE?! I mean the places in Singapore are so limited! Maybe it's time for all of us to go Malaysia one day. Haha, ALL of us. And tomorrow's gonna be Mr Johnny Zhang Jian Wei's birthday. Gonna celebrate it at rush, AGAIN! But then again, it's not the place that matters, it's the company. And yup, wishing you a Happy Birthday in advance. P.s : don't forget to countdown to your enlistment date ;)

Sentosa.

2005-08-22T16:58:00.000-07:00

Woah. I've been lazy/tired to blog. Been out almost every single day except on Sunday. Stayed home to watch soccer. As expected, Chelsea won the match against Arsenal. Didn't club on
Friday so we went to West Coast park, then to Clementi area for soccer. 3 cars and 3 bikes. Pretty fun sight, but then again, i'm always left behind for being the safest driver. Went to Sentosa right after that. Imagine how hardcore we can be! So we went there till 'bout 2+ and it started to rain. Went home after having lunch... Didn't go anywhere after that though. And great, i'm suffering from the burnts now!

Went for supper last night with the same clique then headed to Punggol and Buangkok. Supposedly looking for haunted places but then again, couldn't find the one at Buangkok and the one at Punggol was filled with lotsa lalangs. So forsake the idea of going in. And i came to realise that my group of clique has a fetish looking at guys' urinating uh. lols. Aight, i'm gonna get some sleep now. Ciaos.

Shag.

2005-08-18T08:52:00.000-07:00

I've been going out every night and going for work during the day till bout late noon, and it's only after that i sleep for like 5-7 hours before going out again. I've been meeting with the usual clique everyday. EVERYDAY without fail. But then again, i enjoy the accompanion of each and everyone of them. Dick, Jianwei, Xianhan, Jonathan, Jason and Ray. Though they may be bastards at times, but still, i'll bastard them back one day. Haha. Have been working in Mediacorp as a part-timer, NOT extra! Seen quite a few stars like Fiona Xie, Ann Kok, Thomas Ong, "Dayang" and "Baobei". Nothing spectacular about them, just so ordinary except they look more glamourous with their make up here and there. Aight, i think i'll be going down soon. So.. Ciaos.

Succeed.

2005-08-14T21:38:00.000-07:00

YAY! *DRUM ROLLS* I PASSED MY LICENSE !!! 14 POINTS !!! HAHAHAHAHAHA. FCUKING HAPPY ABOUT IT! JONATHON GU, WE CAN GO MSIA ASAP ALREADY!

Movies Marathon.

2005-08-13T08:17:00.000-07:00

Went out on Friday night for movies at Cineleisure. Watched 'Bewitched' with Kenneth, Juan, Meiting and 'bird'. We practically waited like more than 1 hour for that show. So, we decided to chill at this cafe right upon Cine. Pretty nice ambience and the prices for the food are reasonable. Took a glance on their plasma tv and saw HILARY DUFF. HA, SHE IS FCUKING SLIM NOW!!! Pretty, Cute, Gorgeous, Sweet, Perfect, Lovely. She's just the ONE. Ok, so we headed for our show, it's a pretty loving show with various laughters here and there. As again, you love the person for who she is. So never mind her past, or background, but then again, it affects us. Ironic...

Ok, so i was called a BASTARD for pangseh-ing my usual clique. So in order for me not to be one, i met them for the next show, 'The Maid'. And for those guys who actually wants to watch with their gfs. Please go and watch it with your friends FIRST, before you actually watch with your gf. At least, you'll be mentally prepared for those shocking parts. It's not scary, it's just SHOCKING! One could tell it's shocking if you've seen Xianhan's looks and expression. HAHAHAHAHA. He covered his ears, and used his jacket to cover his face. I know even though it was just split seconds of covering, STILL, YOU DID IT. HUM AR HUM AR! Haha.. And so, after that show, we were much familiar with names like "Esther Santos", "Ah Soon", "Wati". A rather decent show though. I mean, what do you expect out of local production? Ha.

And i was at Chinablack cause Dick convinced all of us to go at the very LAST minute. But no doubt, it's fun and enjoyable. Probably because of the fact that familiar faces were there. Or was it because the 'xxx' was there... Ha, i reckon it's the latter answer. Alrite, it's 8.30am and i think i should get some sleep now. AND IM GOING TO HAVE MY TRAFFIC POLICE TEST TML AT 9.30AM. Till then, ciaos.

Late Nights.

2005-08-11T02:52:00.000-07:00

Woah, it's been like a couple of days since i last blogged. Okay, i've been busy going out every single day for this week. Let's start with Monday, Dick came and fetch me from my place, then we head down to our second home in Changi, OCH. Went in for a short while but decided not to go on with the idea as Nick doesn't want to proceed. So we ended up in Geylang for supper. Xianhan, me, Ben, Dick, Nick, Jianwei and 1 more emo kia were all there. The rest of the night was darn hilarious because of some 'big mouthing' by Xianhan and additional oil from Dick. Resulting = Emo Night. Went back shortly after that while they went 284.

Tuesday, BEST NIGHT. Blardy fuck. We went to Kranji HDBs for touring. Mind you, it's dilapidated and empty. Dick came up with a very nice suggestion whilst we were at the playground. The plan was, look under ur legs towards the damn playground. And i came to realise that this Emmanuel Dick Wang Liang Fu is filled with creepy ideas. Next up, we went to cemetery. NICE. CEMETERY. When we went in, you can see thousands and thousands of tombstones. To be very HONEST, i was scared. Then Mr Wang wanted to go down, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of those tombstones and smoke. Ok, no choice, went down. And he wanted to have this stupid idea of having 1 person walking down the blardy path alone, and take turns to do so. Ok, not very smart. And to think that he initially wanted to play this game whereby you'll have to copy their birth dates and names. But no, luckily we didn't carry on with that idea. Cause i know my balls will be shrinking while playing that game of his!

Yesterday, went Chinablack for 1 hr then we left for our second home again. This time round, we were all alone. Yeah, just 5 of us walking the whole hospital ourselves. And our motive for doing so was to discover the mortuary. But to everyone disappointment, we combed most of the places in that Hospital but we still couldn't find it. Maybe if there's anyone would like to save us from the troubles and enlighten us can gladly tag up my blog. We'll definitely be very thankful of that. Didn't see or hear anything except a DOG. My first reaction was to get the hell outta that place afraid of being bitten by that blardy bitch. We got out of it safe, then we went around finding wooden sticks, then went back to the same old place again. Fun eh? And yeah, when we were touring around the carpark of Changi, just when we were about to catch those exhibitionists having their little actions up in the car, we were stopped by the police who assumed that we were one of those who's interested in 'them'. Left after being checked, blardy fuck. Could have seen them in actions... Till then.

License.

2005-08-06T05:40:00.000-07:00

Went to meet Jon yesterday to extend passport cause we were supposed to go Malaysia but was cancelled in the end. Had a debate with Seah Xianhan on why he isn't a hongster, and alot of other stuff. But still, my finalise conclusion of him is still the same; hongster. Anyway, gonna head down Black later. I'm in need for some rnbs instead of techno!

9 more days to Driving license. And if i pass, i'm gonna apply for class 2b license as well. Till then...

Wola Wola.

2005-08-04T20:01:00.000-07:00

Went pubbing last night at Holland Village, Wola Wola with Emmanuel, Xianhan, Jonathon, Harnie, Sim and Jason. Ambience was good and harnie claims that the singer looks cute. Lols. Closed at 1 and wanted to head down to Eski Bar? Is that the name of it? Ain't sure. But anyway, we got to Este bar instead thanks to Jonathon who misguided us. We took quite awhile to decide where to go and ended up at Newton Circus for drinks. Went back bout 3 plus? Ah, i'm still suffering from a BLOOD red sore eyes. The sight of it is seriously gross... And it hasn't recover yet.

No one knows.

2005-08-04T01:53:00.000-07:00

Just felt like writing a poem and so here it goes...

I wish i could fly high,
High up upon the azure sky.
Drift upon those puffy clouds in the day,
Find my way through the stars late at night.

Away from the world,
And that's when i find serenity.
Freed from greed,
As well as animosity.

It's never easy to fly.
I've tried a hundred other times,
But never once it turn out fine.
Ended up losing everything that's supposedly mine.

Life; a matter of decades,
Before we each decends right down our grave.
Are we suppose to fight for things in life,
Or just be contented what's right upon our eyes?

Your life,
Your decision,
You choose it,
But don't end up regretting every single bit of it.

Backfired.

2005-08-03T05:50:00.000-07:00

Met up with Gene today, to cut it short, we went to play game. Yes i know. It sounds boring. Didn't go home after leaving him, was at my pool when i saw my neighbour and chatted. Esther came by and drove me for supper along with Kenneth after that, ate at Lavender and talked at Kallang's Mac. Sent me back home but before that, probed me with a question regarding 'bout death. Touchwood. But she was wondering how many people will actually be crying when she's gone. Well, such a simple question but yet filled with uncertainties. But nevertheless, everyone will find out their answers when the day comes.

Came across something upon the net, something unplesant i reckon. Please bear in mind that whatever you've wrote or stated, may it cross your mind that one day, you'll learn a new word called 'forgiving'. No, i don't care what you feel, or how you feel towards me in any way. But i'm just awed with the fact that you still can't get over. Whatever it is, you have my blessings. Meantime, this shall do for the night...

Aching.

2005-08-01T22:23:00.000-07:00

Sigh, i don't know whether it's the time of the month again for people to break up. August, the month whereby i broke up with my ex-gf. Not that i'm stil in love with her, or still missing her. But then again, this month seems to be abit crap.

Ahhhh, i don't understand why people treats breaking up as an excuse to run away from problem. I believe that there's WAYS to settle a problem instead of running away from it by resorting to the last and final step; breaking up. Ok, first you know you're so damn in love with each other thats why you wanna get together, and what's next, you guys quarrel over some ridiculous stuff or realise that the other party has changed. Ok fine, changes bound to happen over time. That's human, face it. So what's so wrong about changes or quarrels? You accept the each other for WHO you are. So i reckon that no matter what the shit happens to your the other party, will you still love her? Think about it. Next, quarrels. Yeah, you have happy times as well as bad times. You can't ALWAYS have happy times for life is gonna be so unbalance for you. Too much of something is never good. Ok so you quarrel, then you cry, scold, rant, whine, bring out the past, argue, shout, scream. OK THINK, does any of the above helps to solve the quarrel or does it actually worsen the condition? People don't think well whilst in a moment of anger. So why not just settle things when you're both cooled down instead? Whatever it is, people will only tend to know how to CHERISH when they lose somthing, they don't bother cherishing it in the first place when they've got it. They only do that when it's gone. I don't know why, human are just so weird. Shrugs.

And yeah. my whole body is aching badly! Went for soccer last night with ex colleagues and though it was tiring and expensing ( because of the cab fare! ), but i still enjoy the whole deal. I wanna go suntan soooon! 13 days more to TP. Time passes real quick.

Good old days.

2005-07-31T19:56:00.000-07:00

Went Chinablack on Saturday with Xh, Jon, Von, Harn, Shuyun and Chengmei. I don't know why the guys didn't really enjoy it but it was rather fun for me. Ha, rnbs. Went for supper with Harn, Xh and Jon at MS. Ahhh, bengs and lians practically filled up every table beside us. Went back home and slept. No more late nights for me!

Met QQ and Jacinda last night for dinner, and then to East Coast to talk. It's been a seriously long long time since we last 3 met and have fun. We were having fun and all just by chatting as well as disturbing our main victim; Jacinda. She seem to like the idea of being tormented by the both of us eh. Haha. Went back bout 11+, took a shower then slept. Simple but yet perfect...

Rush.

2005-07-30T01:28:00.000-07:00

Guess what. We headed 'Rush' last night again. I swear that the feeling of it is seriously tormenting! I mean, the 'regulars' at Rush are mostly bengs or lians. Shrugs, i just feel weird. I was quite 'high' last night after various drinks. And it felt like crap when i was back home trying to sleep. Was tossing and turning for half an hour before i could settle down. Tried puking but no avail. And yea, drinking with empty stomach is shit. Please don't ever try that.

Ahhh, suddenly i've got this urge to get out of Singapore. I'm in need of some tranquility and peace.

Supper.

2005-07-28T23:53:00.000-07:00

Went out for supper last night with Huffy, Salim, Darwin, Jared and Taufan at Simpang Bedok. Things are going rather slow for me. I wanna find work, but at the same time, i'm still unsure 'bout my enlistment date. This is so shit. Things are going downhill! ZHANG JIAN WEI! WHERE ARE YOU?! And yea, yet another dreams that's so far from my reach...

Flopped.

2005-07-28T07:18:00.000-07:00

No calls = No job. Good conclusion. Fcuk, i seriously abhor the idea of going down and down again to go for interviews! I'm seeing it more like drudgery instead of enjoying. So screwed. Gonna look for jobs again... Sigh. I wanna go in NS soon! Fcukers. When i wanna apply for my studies, they don't allow it. NOW i want to enter FASTER, they are like hestitating the idea of it. Blardy fcukers!

Club

2005-07-27T12:00:00.000-07:00

Went black earlier tonight. Damn packed with dicks, and VERY FEW decent look girls. The DJs can fcuking store their songs damn well. They don't even play some nice rnbs, perhaps when everybody starts leaving then will they eh? Went back early cause of Seah Xianhan. Gonna head for my bed right now... I'm feeling the fatigue already. Nites. 18 days more to TP!

Interview.

2005-07-27T01:18:00.000-07:00

Woke up late this morning, probably bout 10? And was scheduled for my interview at some company selling health products. I believe it was more of a flop rather than success cause the person who interviewed me said that the only hestitation he has from employing me was the fact that i couldn't work long term. Ahhhh, it's alrite. I'm gonna look for another job at Stussy then. I don't wanna waste my time doing nothing but idling!!! Ok, say with me, 19 days more to TP ! ciaos.

Post post.

2005-07-25T19:09:00.000-07:00

Yeah, i know i know. I'm supposed to blog every single day, irregardless of whether my life is monotonous or not. I've been almost doing the same thing everyday, that's like waking up, read newspaper, then read some books, and then eat, after that all, i'll be on my computer doing different stuff like forum surfing, msn-ing, and gaming. I feel i'm wasting my life away but then again, i kinda like this 'habit' cause i get to spend more time with my family members by staying home! 20 days to Traffic Police test... I've got a feeling i won't make it on the first try though. Everytime when you most anticipate for something and the urge to get it done perfect may eventually lead to a flop. So anyhow, let fate decides then.

Girls girls girls... They could either melt your heart or turn heartless. Straightforward? I bet you said it all in the name of it. You're not as straightforward at all. You lied, yes you did. Don't fcuking deny it. But i'm not pissed nor angry, it just seriously change my impression of you a whole new 360 degrees. Nevertheless, we are still FRIENDS. Fret not, girls are plenty, and i believe there are better ones. Meantime, good luck to you in your school.

Tired.

2005-07-25T00:38:00.000-07:00

Met up with Eugene and the rest today. Went for dinner and came back. Nice? Fun? I'm too tired to go out anywhere though. Went for driving earlier today and damn, my blindspots again! Haven't really cultivate the habit of doing that frequently yet. Ohhhh mannn.... 21 days more to Traffic Police. I'm yearning badly for a licenseeeee!!!!

Dine dine dine.

2005-07-23T13:42:00.000-07:00

Met up with Esther last night for dinner. Dined at Fish and Co - Parkway, then headed my place for me to change as i was clad very casually, and even if i did change, it makes not much difference. Met Kenneth and Juan at HongKong Cafe, left bout 12.30 then went to MS after that. Was supposed to meet my bunch of clique at 11.30 but reached there bout 1. Jonathon and Dick was both dead drunk, but luckily for us, only Jonathon was making the most noise! Just when i thought i was supposed to be the noisiest eh? Ha.

woah.

2005-07-22T03:15:00.000-07:00

Met up with a couple old friends yesterday, Salim, Darwin and Jianhao. Accompanied them to register for driving then headed to Simpang Bedok for dinner. Went to Salim's place to watch Wet Dreams 1, then met Jianhao later at night for supper. Came home and was supposed to meet Kenneth for another round of coffee session, but was too tired. So dreaded that idea even though he was quite persistant. Slept early last night and i'll be meeting Esther soon, for her belated birtherday dinner. Going rush later tonight with my bunch of clique! Been a long time man... Laters.

followup.

2005-07-21T14:28:00.000-07:00

Yeah, right now, i'm gonna finish the rest of my 'philosophy', "The rich and the poor". Actually, my thoughts sorta seems vague and i've forgotten some part of it, but anyway, i'll just do as much as possible.

Remember the last time i blogged? On the same night, i was out having supper when i chance upon an lady in her sixties who was selling candies and stuff. Public would normally shoo away without much thoughts and to them, they are an eyesore. Not for my case though. I gave her a couple of bucks without much hestitation and that it was worth it. WHY? Because, she gave me a lesson in life. That's something priceless. She said, we human should not look down on those poorer and bootlick the rich for we are all human and the very fact that we are all equal under the eye of God. Right, i totally second that. When i was back home, the whole idea of it struck me so hard that i kept pondering about it. Do we actually need to be weathly to enjoy life? Or should we be contented with just what we have? No doubt, being rich entitles you to MANY privileges in life. Yes, you get to taste almost everything on Earth. But does it exactly make you happier? I doubt so. Still, the most important things in life are always gonna be Family and Friends. These are the two groups who will make your life joyous. To everyone out there, learn to love instead of hate or bearing grudges. It gets you nowhere but only miserable to hold either of the latter. And at the same time, like i've said, my thoughts are somehow dried. So maybe i should end it here and then, much to Von's disappointment, i'll continue it someday.

Words will always remain as words, words will only be meaningful if actions are carried out. You like to say alot of things but end up disappointing. I'm getting sick and tired of it, i'm not pissed. I just hope that you will THINK over what you've said and make a point to keep it.

National Service checkup on August 12, Traffic police test 25 days away. Good luck to me!

boo.

2005-07-20T20:14:00.000-07:00

Surprisingly, i didn't club last night. Instead, i felt asleep while waiting for sms reply. Ha. Things are getting pretty monotonous for me. And i haven't recover from my sickness yet which is why i haven't look for jobs yet. Time is drawing near... I'll be going in NS soon i hope. Sounds fun anyway. Ha, will be meeting Salim later on. So i'm off, ciaos.

Ha.

2005-07-19T21:43:00.000-07:00

I was supposed to continue my earlier post BUT, i felt sick for these past few days. Ok, thanks to harnie for turning my used to be ugly blog into something much more presentable and the fact that i promised her i'll blog everyday without fail even it means that i'm doing nothing.

Ain't really in the mood to do the followup now. Shall do it on later tonight or something. Met Kenneth earlier today for breakfast and we talked alot. Talked 'bout NS, and YES, I'M GOING TO NATIONAL SERVICE JUNIOR COLLEGE! Sounds poor thing eh? But no, i think i'm so gonna love the idea of being the real 'Ben Affleck'. Ha. Ok, back to the topic. We talked 'bout making business, yes, MONEY, MONEY and MORE MONEY. The fashion, trend, design, shops, brands, and believe me, this is gonna get interesting. I'll touch on it later tonite though, okay that's all. BYE ! Thanks HARNIE !

Corrections.

2005-07-15T13:51:00.000-07:00

Sigh, i haven't been blogging. But right at this current state, i feel that blogging allows me to do some soul searching thoroughly or at least, allows me to check if changes were made. Yeah, let me browse through some bits of my life first; i'm right now in a state of delusion. I'm wasting my life doing nothing except taking license, anticipating for the result of being able to defer my NS for studies or not and worst of all, i've been spending alot of time and cash on clubbing.

Okay, before my thoughts run dry. Here are some things that i'd like to share with. Basic facts like "Why and what are we doing exactly on Earth", and "The rich and the poor". Lets get the ball rolling on the first topic, even though the answer is somewhat unknown to me, i made assumptions that 1) We are here just to pass on to the next generation, or either that, 2) We have a mission. But somehow, i'd conclude the latter one as a more definite answer. Life, a matter of decades before we bite the dust, should we actually strive hard and work for everything that you want, or would you just allow things to flow aimlessly? I believe that most people will choose think the first one as an appropriate answer BUT then again, why do we practise the other one as well? What do we actually WANT?

We yearn for something high up above, but we shoot nowhere close to it. I'm tired of relying on my parents, i feel that i should do something about it. Furthermore, i can't rely on then for all my life. Someday, somehow, i'll have to be on my feet, on my own, yes ALONE, to struggle against this materialistic world. And yes, i'm gonna start doing that right from this very day onwards. I'll TRY to survive without their money although i know it's gonna be tough. I have had enough of being a spoilt brat. I want to be someone that i can be proud of. Not someone who just make do with money that's not earnt by my two bare hands. No offense, but neither am i retarded nor handicapped, i feel i should make better uses out of my limbs given by God rather than being complacent with all these privileges. I'm already 18 and to be frank, i do feel embarrass bout the whole idea.

Well, this is pretty much the end about the first topic. Fatigue is hitting hard on me right. I'll do the followups tomorrow. Goodnight and God bless.

BACK !

2005-05-13T05:11:00.000-07:00

SUP ALL ! I'M BACK ! MY COM IS FINALLY UP AND ALIVE ! ok so now here's one nice piece to all the people out there. I've been clubbing at Chinablack, working at OCBC, learning my driving practical, gonna start sch in july for SIM - Singapore Institute of Management, playing lotsa Dota which i don't know why i got hooked, and yea, been hanging out with the 'rushers'. Actually i don't exactly remember the technique to blog, so anyhow, this is it. That's all folks, stay tune for more actions soon...

Emo.

2005-03-09T11:11:00.000-08:00

I haven't been bloggin for a really long time. I'm lazy. Too lazy to even type the web, and entry. I've been spending much of my time on CLUBBING! Sounds boring eh? But it rawks. Oh yeah, i didn't do that badly for my Os. Got B3 for english and c6s for the rest of the 4 subjects. Fcuk this shit. I'm trying to get in Engine courses, well that's partly what i want. I hope that i'll be able to get in though! Just came back from pubbing with colleagues, gotta go work tomorrow at SUNTEC! So for those who happen to pop by, do visit me. I'll get ya a credit card! And yeah, finally, i've just picked up the skills to actually drive manual car without the guidance of a teacher but friend instead. Drove zai,jared,opti,skate,crabby out for supper 2-3 days back, and i can assure ya, driving on the highway is so fcuking scary. It's the last thing i'm gonna do again until i've finally got my license. 4 more days to Basic Theory Test!

Oh my gawddddd.

2005-02-24T09:15:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my birthday and it was really one of the best birthday so far. Met charlie, benjamin, jonathon, dickson, jianghe, ivan, liang hong, terence and wesley to go Sentosa. Had lots of fun over there, played volleyball, soccer and canoe-ing. Ended around 6, took a shower then left to meet HBF guys. Was supposed to meet 7pm but i was late bout an hour cause there wasn't any cab around and i've to keep changing my train from harbourfront to outram, then to raffles then marina bay at last. Met them there straight as they already reached. I'm so sorry guys! But thanks for coming anyway! Headed down to Chinablack with the help of greyback! Thanks for fetching us dood! The next thing i knew, i was up at Chinablack having 1 waterfall and 1 frustration, courtesy of cman, xianhan and jonathan. Then i started drinking 4 cup of martel straight and there i was, lying down on the sofa for 3 hrs. And when i wanted to dance, the music stopped. And i'm so sorry guys for not being a good host last night. I roughly estimated that i've let around 20+ pple down for not being able to accompany you guys! My bad... I'm really sorrry guys but thanks for coming. I appreciate it alot guys! And to my sweet own flesh and blood brother as well as his 2 friends, they got me levis wallet! That's so damn sweet of him to leave the wallet on my computer table! And i've got a smoking kit from guggles! Thanks alot sister. Anyway, to cut it short, i really love this birthday alot. Thank you guys for making it happen. :) Cheers

Finally...

2005-02-22T09:01:00.000-08:00

Finally... i've been longing for this day for so long! I'm FINALLY 18 !!! I can club, fag, booze, watch m-18, drive and do most of things! But still, i feel old :\ Chinablack tonite! Thanks to those who wished me; especially celina for being sho sweeeeet!

2005-02-21T10:31:00.000-08:00

Today was just plain boringgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg. Head down town to meet ling to chill at spinelli. Was there bout an hour when jared and fiona came. Sat there till 8 after huffy,magnum,nigel and stanley arrived. Went to marche for dinner and stayed there to talk till bout 11? Met huffy's friend and then, we went back. So basically, my whole day was just sitting down and ROT. This is getting really boringggggggggggggggggggg. Shan't blog anymore. Peace out.

Contented!

2005-02-20T06:12:00.000-08:00

I guess i'm really really really contented with today. Everything has been happening so good and smooth so far... I hope my results will also be this way. Had my Counterstrike competition and both our teams make it to the top 2. Had our ups and downs through the obstacle but nevertheless, we held on to it and make it till the end. Kudos to you guys for having the strength and faith even when we were down. All our hardwork has not gone down the drain!

Been like a couple of days since i last blogged and frankly, things are happening at a very face pace. Things like my results? The rise of ciggarette rate? And my birthday! My god. Time really flies fast. Now... I'm waiting for the one and only truth that i have anticipated - my result. Dear lord, please bless me through this turbulance one more... I really need you to guide me through. Without you, i see no light. Please shine my path and let me walk once again... Your the only faith that keeps me going. Please lord, i hope you will hear my prayers and answer to it... I don't wanna let myself down again...

Boo!

2005-02-18T11:38:00.000-08:00

Guess who's back with a brand new rap. Alrite, didn't really start the day well but it ended kinda smooth. First thing first, i couldn't get enough sleep 'coz my bro stole away my blanket! So that kinda left me with a flu. Greyback sms-ed me and ask if i would wanna go drink coffee, so it ended up that he came over my place and fetched me to paragon for some 'sightseeing'. Met Ling for movie after that at Lido, watched 'Constantine'. In my POV, i feel that it's a pretty nice show. Finally got my berm from stussy! So now i'm left with shoes, jeans from energie and i think i wouldn't want the fleshimp's berms anymore. Met gene after the show and went for training after that. Oh man, not again. Just finished all of it but it kinda went smoothly? Well, it was a good game though. I'm having compy tomorrow so... I shall turn in now! Peace out!

EXHAUSTED!

2005-02-17T07:41:00.000-08:00

Okay, today has been a really nice day. Everything went smoothly for me. Went down town to meet my friend and friend, jesper to shop. Got 2 shirts from Obey, 1 shirt and trousers from Xlarge and seriously speaking, i'm not really satisfied with it! ARGH!!! I needa get a berm from stussy which cost bout 70+, a jeans from energie that costs bout 180+ after discount, and 1 more berm from fleshimp that's bout 50+ bucks! And SHOES as well! Oh man, this is gonna cost alot.
Head down OCBC centre to get my job interview done. I PASSED !!! So ima like suppose to start work on next friday when it's supposed to be tomorrow. Alrite, tt's all for today. I'm seriously exhausted now. Peace out.

Done!

2005-02-16T08:25:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh. I'm finally done with the book. It's really really fabulous. It's pretty much a story about this guy who's retarded becoming a genius after some kinda experiment. Things were of a big change after the operation. He used to be a person who is well-liked by people around him, or perhaps, for the fact that people enjoyed mocking at him. But after the operation, he became a snob and pushed everybody aside, thinking that he's smarter than everybody around him. But after a period of time, everything in him succumb. He started having amnesia and couldn't figure out what was wrong... Over time, he was back to his old self; a moron. A really nice book that you people out there should read! Title : Flowers For Algernon

EMO!

2005-02-16T05:22:00.000-08:00

I've been spending most of my time on this book called "Flowers For Algernon" by Daniel Keyes. Not yet done with it but i'm really enthu bout reading it. Please don't find it weird cause i'm actually a very obedient person. Ima going shopping tomorrow ( hopefully ) and a job interview later in the evening. And i'm finding myself stuck on this very post wondering what to type in it. It's so blank. Maybe i shall leave it that way then.

Doesn't really matter anymore.

2005-02-13T04:11:00.000-08:00

Today's a Sunday. I've been spending much of my time lying on my couch and playing music. Make a deal with myself that i should stop smoking, and i really should quit. It's sucha simple thing and if i can't do it, i might as well be a failure for all my life. But i'm never gonna be one...

Let's just go back to 2 days back. Went down Tampines to meet up with Huiqi as i haven't seen her for a long time. As usual, both of us did change. I don't know if it's for the better or worse. Talked to her about lotsa stuff, mostly on what's been happening to our lives. And of course, the topic that is always there. Shan't mention what it is. She showed me a photo of a lovely couple. I was green with envy and the urge of breaking down was stronger. But i held on to myself, knowing that there will always be a way out.

Left shortly after that to meet ling, huimin, and ahgu at orchard. Cabbed down orchard centrepoint, and didn't know how long i waited cause my fcuking phone didn't have any more batt, neither could i call or sms. Something terrible happened shortly after i reached, a commotion happened. One guy of a much older age was beaten by around 10 teenagers. I swear that he's so badly injured that the puddle of blood he left behind is enough to fill a bag of plastic. I didn't know what to do but approached him after the fight and tried to talk to him, or to pull him up. But i was stopped by passerbys saying that it's dangerous and stuff. So fine, i left him alone. His friends came straight after the fight was OVER. Some kinda friends eh? Just nice after they left...

Ling finally reached after so so long. But it's alrite. Was suppose to go ally bar, but guys are like supposed to be like 25 in order to go in? And for girls it's like 21? But i won't deny the ambience inside was really fantastic. Went to a pub at bishan instead, and the rest was history. I don't wish to comment on the rest for i doubt there's a need. So let it all end here and i'll bring you better news the next time round. Cheers.

GODDDDD!

2005-02-10T10:01:00.000-08:00

OH MY GODDDDDDDD. This is so fcuking crazy. I went out yesterday over to my paternal grandma's house. Took around 200+ from a few of my relatives. Pangseh-ed my bro then head down Junction 8 to meet gene and 'family'. Was slacking outside coffee bean for about an hour or something? And thanks ah erica, you really take care of me very well but slapping me. Elson was there too! Hahas.

ling called and we headed down her place. Just elson, gene and me. The 3 lovely princes. lmaos. Waited at her park for GBRs to come. Played with elson at playground for alittle while to accompany that bugger. Waited bout an hour before the rest came... Then headed to her place for less than an hour? Barely eaten yet. Left cause we had to send elson back. Accompanied gene and ate over his place. Saw his sister again. What rotten luck! HAHAHAHAHAHAS. Played basketball unknowingly and we all ended up perspiring like cock. Went down ling's place again supposingly to drink, but in the end, i only drank 1 can of beer. And when lenn gotta go, so do the guys. Cause there's a criteria that girls have to be there in order for guys to stay. Was on the cab going back when mr. andy called me. Asked if i wanted to go his place, and so, as there was a soccer match later on. I ended up in his blardy wulu yio chu kang house with wei xiong. Stay overnight.

I woke up with the fact that momo was laughing at my anatomy. He was so surpised that he actually went to take away my blanket to have a closer look. Nice try fag. Took a shower and had lunch with his ALOT ALOT ALOT of relatives. Played daidee and lost 'bout 40bucks thanks to Mr. kenneth whom i have not return his 10 bucks for chelsea match. Thanks for the sueyness lots! muacks ..!.. Took a cab back and had reunion dinner again. Fcukkkk, all these foods are going down my blardy stomach again and again. Was suppose to go pub but ling couldn't make it so scheduled it to be some other days. Stay at home to rot. But it was really nice rotting with fags and nice musics. Well, that's about all, gotta run now. Cya and peace out. Happy Chinese New Year to all.

Splendid yet not so...

2005-02-07T13:57:00.000-08:00

This blog is turning rusty without my entries. So i guess i should add more colours into it. Been a long day today man. And seriously, i ain't feel tired. Met up with celina, cindy and edward for a movie; Feng Shui. I don't know how to judge that show but it isn't scary at all but at the same time, its plot is pretty good. Met up with charlie and jiang he for dinner. It's like WOW, i haven't seen charlie for ages and he's pretty much the same except that he has been putting on weight. hahahas. Met gene, his gf, erica, her bf, and 2 other guys shortly after dinner. Planned to go some drinking session with gene, and huiling came along. It was pretty much a 'talking' night as everything within the heart was spilled out. Ah, i somehow lost the feeling of blogging. So pardon me for my phrasing error. lols. Anyway, that's my day. Simple but yet wonderful. I've been missing you alot of pple in my life. It's time to catch up with them before it's never. Peace out.

Ironic.

2005-02-01T14:40:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when you try to place the puzzle the right way. It just somehow doesn't fix into the picture. The higher hope you pin on something, the greater the fall will be. In life, what you always plan beforehand, seems to be the otherwise. It's always full of uncertainties. Perhaps, these are the factors to make life more 'interesting'. Ain't trying to pin-point anything but it's just plain thoughts.

Sigh, it's been more than a year since i last attend a school. I really miss it badly. The fact that i didn't do well the first time was utterly heartwrenching. Lost for words and directions... Unknowing what to do, or what i can do. I could only seek solace in silence for the very truth that i brought it all upon myself. Now... I'm really hoping that this time i'll make it. At least, to a poly of course. Oh please Lord, i really need you to guide my way through. And i hope that you will help me for this time round. I know that i've failed the last time round, but i'll promise you, i will work harder...

I haven't been going out lately. Firstly, i'm declare broke. I've spent most of my money on my handphone. Secondly, i'm just too lazy. It seems that i'm rather sick of town, watching movies. I've just been going out to eat with friends, chilling and just watching soccer. Seems simple and boring to some. But i enjoy the adrenaline i get when i watch soccer, it feels great when your favourite team is winning. For now, lets just keep this simple and nice. I'm still counting down to my birthday, feb 23, which means that there are 21 days more and 26 days more to my O level result. I'm crossing my fingers real tight and hope that i'll be able to survive this turbulance once again. May God be with me. Till then, peace out.

Gee.

2005-01-27T13:00:00.000-08:00

Finally... I've finally got a long sleep but still, the fcuking insomnia is killing me. I feel drowsy but yet my mind think otherwise. Weird. Been out today with zai, mon, jevin, lp and denise. Caught "Fights in the Wind" at tampines GV. Seriously guys, advertisements can never be trusted. It was really BORING, but nevertheless, the girl in that show was so damnnnnnn cute. Wendy met up with us later on and then, we headed on to bedok 85 for dinner. Came back shortly after that and i spent the rest of my night talking to maybelyn over the microphone thingy. hahas. She has been sucha sweetie these couple of days. Her smile is something that i always look forward to, and her voice can simply ease all my worries and troubles. Ah, just like an angel. hehs. Nothing exciting has been happening so far... And i've decided to get Motorola v3 from lone. He's selling me at 750 bucks. Seems expensive but... I'm dying for a new phone. hehs. Shall make do with that phone though. Has all the functions i want... So i shall be contented. =>

Crap.

2005-01-26T05:41:00.000-08:00

Everything's gonna become a killer for me. Come onn my dear family car!!! Do not let me down otherwise i'm so gonna get killed. Do something 'bout the leaking part!!! darn. hafta wait till servicing then only will i know whether it'd be alrite. curiousity costs a bomb in my wallet.

Fatigue.

2005-01-19T10:53:00.000-08:00

Got this backache when i woke up this morning and it totally sucks. Been working for my uncle these few days... And it's not an easy job. Packing stuff over and over again makes it looks more tiring than it actually is. Imagine thousands and thousands of small little eletronics parts being sorted out and places accordingly. Now that is really crap. Just came back home after meeing up with zai, wen, mon and yipwei. Went for supper nearby my house... Was supposed to go gym today though. But couldn't find the energy to go. Alrite, gonna turn in early now. Sleep tight peeps. Peace out.

Fuck it.

2005-01-17T01:48:00.000-08:00

Didn't go to work today as i couldn't wake up. So fuck it, i didn't feel like going. The next thing i knew was that she really wants me to put an end to all our relationship. Now, this is great. First we ended our relationship and after so many months, you just can't forget 'bout the past. You said that you've forgiven but yet to forget. But it seems nothing at all. Yeah, start deleting me off everywhere, blocked me on your msn and change your number if you'd like. You did it well indeed. Gone USA and these shits happen, nonetheless, you don't have to face me anymore. Thumbs up for your actions. Was it actually planned or something...? Cause it actually looks like a brilliant idea ya. Ok, let's not beat bout the bush. Leave me if you will, but i need a reason why you're being this way. Everything happens for a reason, i believe that leaving itself needs one. If ya ain't gonna provide me with one, i'll persude for it till i've finally get one. Peace out.

Diet!

2005-01-11T05:52:00.000-08:00

It's time... it's really time to slim down right at this point of time. No fried food, no junk food, no soft drinks, no ice cream, no sweet stuff and of course no beer. I shall do this for a couple of months after what i've sinned for the past few months. Just came back from gym... Did jogging and some weight lifting. Gonna head down California Fitness tomorrow with Salura. Had a trial membership for 2 weeks, so gonna give it a try and see if it's good. Till then... Sit back and hold tight while i'm in the progress of slimming down. heh.

Shrugs.

2005-01-10T15:55:00.000-08:00

Ah, i'm putting on weight! My face's getting rounder and rounder. It totally sucks and i seriously dislike the idea of being a BALL. Got back from gym not long ago... Darn, it's really tiring man... I ran for like 45 mins and my lungs are already worn out... Guess i'm really too tired to blog further. So take care and peace out. Oh yea, 1 more thing to add in the "wanting list"; to LOSE weight and NOT to gain. Aight, peace out.

Numb.

2005-01-08T13:54:00.000-08:00

Just got back an hour ago from KTV Party World at shenton way. Went training and it lasted for several hours. I seriously don't like the idea of TRAINING, TRAINING and TRAINING. It's really making me sick when it gose on and on for DAYS! Fcuk. It's totally spoiling my life. Went MU ( Music Underground ) after that. Went in for less than 2 hours 'coz Salura couldn't get in. Lucky for me, i went in without being checked. Ahhhh, i do look old now eh.
The ambience there is pretty good as well as the crowds. Loads and loads of pretty and sexaye girls. It's a really wow-wow situation for guys, especially those girls at the podium. They can seriously shake well. lols. The music there was great. But more RNB and less techno please. Left PartyWorld bout 4am, went back home straight and now, i'm gonna SLEEP. I really need it badly! Alrite, for those who don't want to listen to " that's so wolve's story " please proceed to the X button right on top of ur screen. Nites.

Suddenly occurs to me that life is indeed very much unpredictable. I may see you right now but the following day and the days after, i may not be able to. Changes in life is something that everybody has to live with it, or is there any other way out? Yeap, i've quoted that i have never regretted doing things in life, but right now, i do regret not cherishing you in the past. Those times that i've forgotten to compromise and as my egos overwhelm the situation. I seriously blame myself for not being able to give in and treat you like a princess. I ruined everything. Till today, i do miss you, very very much. It's almost 4 months, i've gotten on with my life and so are you. But still, i've to admit this. You're the one that i've ever loved that much. Nothing can ever replace that. Yeayea, people will start saying, don't be naive and that i haven't experience life. That's totally crap. I'm VERY certain of this very fact that nothing ever beats first love. Times and times again, whenever i'm at places we used to be, those flashbacks will just rewind and play by themselves. For more than a dozen of times before i start realising that i'm facing reality right at this point of time, and there's no turning back. Once it's gone, it's gone. Even if it comes back again, it can never be the same again. Well, at least that's my perception. Until it's destined for us to meet again, i'll still remember you, at least, for this lifetime.

Quotes from the song; True by Ryan Cabrera.
Here it goes:
"I've waited all my life,
to cross this line
to the only thing that's true.
So i will not hide,
it's time to try,
anything to be with you.
All my life i've waited,
this is true."

Phew.

2005-01-05T02:54:00.000-08:00

I'm back to my blog. Finally... After a week or two. Somehow, i feel that i shouldn't abandon this blog of mine for it's the only place i can rant without acknowledging anothers' opinions. So much things have happen throughout these past few weeks, for the better of course.

Lets begin with New Year Eve, went out with HBFs to Suntec Marche for dinner. Was supposed to get a movie after that but it was all fully booked. Expected. So we starting counting down at Cineleisure and seriously, i wouldn't want to get another eye infection from those sprays. It's totally annoying. Was wondering whether i should meet gene after that but guess i was pretty lazy to go all the way down to Boat Quay. Met Esther Chin, my dearest sister to pass her xmas' present. Guess she really likes it alot. hahas. A sweet angel necklace that suits her totally! Met up with Celina at Coffee Club and hang out bout half an hour at that place itself. Met quite a number of people, and i mean people who i haven't seen for YEARS. Guess town is always a reunion place for all. Especially during certain occassions. Went to Sparks after that with Celina as she did not want to be home that soon. Met up with her friends and stuff, and seriously, Sparks is the last place i will ever want to go again. It totally SUCKS. Too many bengs, too many lians, lousy technos and the ambience is so fcuked. No more next time man. Left probably bout 4 and sent her home. When i was at her lobby dropping her off, i met Jiaqi who then was leaving that particular condo. So this time, i sent her back to Hougang. Imagine how small the world is; the right time and the right place. Seems like i've been seeing her 3 consecutive nights in a row, two times for slacking and once so coincidental.

Slept late and woke up late. Went for HBF's meeting to talk 'bout reshuffling and stuff. I know, i know. CS is so outdated and stuff. After that, most of them came over my place to watch EPL, Chelsea vs Liverpool. As expected, Chelsea won. Much to their disappointment but to my pleasure though. hahas. Can't really remember what i've been doing except yesterday. Went to Sim Lim Square to get myself a damn microphone. Then to bugis for dinner, Billy Bombers. The food are fine but the malts and milkshake are really fantastic. Managed to get discount for the food after Lone aka farid started hooking up the waitress. Lmao. Night ended in a very comforting manner after donating money to the tsunami victims. Really glad that i'm in a country with no such disaster... But my condolence to them for losing so much people. I hope that people who are reading my blog will donate generously to them. Just 10 bucks from everyone will help them overcome monetory problem. Do your part and help out for you will never know when we will need help from others.

That's bout all for now... Gonna go out for dinner with family. Take care and may all my friends have a good year ahead. Cheers.

Let it burn.

2004-12-18T03:13:00.000-08:00

I bet it's gonna be weird for everyone to see me typing a whole new post again. No idea why i came here but it's pretty much the weather. It's really nice and cooling... Yea, imagine Singapore was like this everyday. Today's a Saturday night and i'll be going Chinablack later on. Guess, there's really nothing much to do in Singapore. Boring, boring and boring is the only word that can only describe a country that's really small. I'm not able to keep track of what's been happening for i've mainly forgotten all of it.

The only thing that strucked into my head real deep was the fact that i actually ruined the friendship between her and me. I'd really love to apologise to you personally for leading you and to assume that i have feelings for you. I'm deeply sorry for those sweet nothings i've said to you, for the time being, let's just isolate from each other.

Recently, i've learnt a couple of new things in life. Things in life don't go the way you have planned, it somehow leads you to disappointment and sometimes, it just get worse if you've pinned too much hopes in it. But ironically, when you least expect and hope for something, and when it actually happens eventually, that'll be the best part of joy. In working life, it's really hard to trust somehow wholeheartedly. Being naive in the working world is the last thing that anyone can really hope for. They will end up dying. It's either you stab or you get stabbed. Either way, it's cruel.

True friends are rare, and i very much appreciate all my close friends who stood by me through all these times. HBF, it spells happy big family. I hope that we'll always remain that happy being together yea. Thanks guys.

Eccentric.

2004-12-10T21:43:00.000-08:00

This blog seems so distant away from me. Beginning to wonder whether i still want to keep it or not. So much have been happening yet i hardly find the time to actually blog. Quitted my job cause i'm tired of the short hours. Went to dye my hair yesterday by shintaro and i swear, it's damn weird. Aunt's gonna teach me driving later! hahahahas! Perhaps, chinablack today?

Blurred.

2004-11-29T23:20:00.000-08:00

It just seems that i've got nothing much to blog. Daily chores has become quite a bore. Am going out later on to meet her for movie. Took leave today cause i'm really tired from the long hours of work. Tried driving last night and it worked! hahas. Managed to drive around my carpark and park back at the same slot. Darn, that's an accomplishment! Browse through friendster and saw someone's photo. Seems so familiar but yet far away, to a point beyond my reach. Sigh, how did things ended up this way...? I really ponder. She has changed alot, mainly on appearance and character. Yea, people do change as time passes. Just part and parcel of life. Lydia's back and Lyly's coming back tonite. Been a long time since i last seen of my ex sch mate. Time to meet up gals :P

Blisters.

2004-11-25T10:13:00.000-08:00

I swear to god, the feeling of working like a slave is really shitty. Blisters all over the legs thanks to the sandals, legs becoming numb and aching after long hours of standing, fatigue coz i barely have adequate of sleep. darn, that's life i guess. it's tough especially when you don't have a cert. work has been fine and nice, just that i hate coffee machine. i have to wash it practically like everyday? i feel that it's the worse thing among the rest that could ever happen. alrite, i'm having off tml and sat. got plans tml but yet, don't know whether it will work out fine anot. shan't elaborate on it cause it ain't gonna sound that plesant to some... I've gotta go now. Peace out.

Partying.

2004-11-20T23:57:00.000-08:00

Uh huh, i've finally got the time to actually sit down on my couch and blog. Been really busy with work these few days, and i've met quite a couple of babes at my workplace. I really love my workplace except for the meals they provide that seems so inedible...? Today's a Sunday, tomorrow's gonna be my last paper for Os. After that, say goodbye to Os and welcome Holidays. Alrite, i'm gonna start with what happen the whole week...

Went out with Philea last Wednesday to celebrate her birthday. Watched "Forgotten" at cineleisure, then headed down to East Coast beach with her. The ambience was really nice, especially when it's with combinations of sentimental songs and the shimmering stars that hung up high above. Talked quite alot about what has happened in our lives... I could still remember her telling me that i've grown more matured after so long. Perhaps, that's the outcome of having a relationship with someone you actually love? You tend to tame down and think more 'bout the other party's feelings. I'm really really confuse now... I've no intention of finding someone new for the time being. I just wish that the right girl would just appear right before me and allow me to cherish. Not much of request but just someone who looks like Hilary Duff. huahua.

Worked on Thursday,Friday,Saturday. Darn. It's a KILLER to work on both Friday and Saturday. I was the so called 'beverage runner' and i'm suppose to be like serving drinks around the clock. When everything ended, i realised that my legs were both aching and numbed. The live band up at bar was really tempting me to groove. I really wish that my birthday will be any sooner so i'll be LEGAL to enter discotheque and DRIVE ! haha. Tried driving my aunt's car a couple of nights back. On the engine, released the handbrake but only to realise that i did not know how to shift the gear. Darn, the car is so different from the rest. The gear is right beside the freaking steering wheel. Tried figuring it out bout half an hour...? Decided to call it an end when it didn't work. Not fated perhaps.

Today's a Sunday, and i don't have the mood to even go out. No idea why but maybe, my body needs a little rest from work. My uncle came over from Bali and he's gonna be around till today. Ate what he cooked and it was really fabulous; Japanese food. Guess i'll either be heading down to the east side for soccer? Just maybe. Until then...

Stranded.

2004-11-12T13:26:00.000-08:00

Just came back from clubbing with like so many khakis. Really miss those times whereby we used to gather up for such outing. Went out with opti, bernard and skate to Orchard for shopping. Just realised that it's been a VERY VERY long time ( maybe just a couple of months ) since i last shopped. Darn, i miss the feeling of spending money without worries. Oh ya, Happy Birthday to sky aka alex. Hope you enjoyed yourself just now! For now, goodbye to happy times and welcome back memories...

Ah, here's how it goes aight.My mood's running low, i've no idea why. Maybe it's just her that never cease to leave my mind. Perhaps just a couple of weeks and poof, it all comes back. Like a jigsaw puzzle being torn up apart, and trying to put it all back into one complete piece. But somehow, halfway through it, one went missing and i know for sure that i'll never ever gonna find it back. That's life. It bounds to happen one way or another. I'm still certain of my feelings towards you and i will still long for you. I will only love you the most for this lifetime. Maybe i'm too young to say all these right now. People often call that puppylove, but i believe this will be the first and last time i'm gonna love someone that deep. It's true love i believe. Just wrote a poem not long ago... Perhaps, just for reminiscing's sake.

Love is never ending -

Like an empty bottle stranded in the sea,
Floating to and fro aimlessly,
Only to feel the wind and waves hitting hard on me.
Can't help but to find myself,
Feeling so cold and lonely.
Only to realise that you were the cause for all of these.

Memories of us became a blurred,
As figments of you went missing.
How can things turn out to be this vague...?
Sometimes i wonder if god's playing tricks on me.
Everything seems so unrealistic.

I have lost you.
Maybe just once for this life,
But it may be over a period of lifetime.
Now i'm sure,
I still can't get over you.
For you're the love that makes me all complete.

Promises are made,
Words are said,
But my egos took it all away.
Tiffs were there,
But we didn't take it the easy way,
We ended without much delay.

I'm still in a daze,
I have blown away my love.
All just within a day.
Was it fate that chose to be this way?
Or did you choose to leave me alone to stay?

I have fought many battles,
But this is gonna be the toughest.
The strength within me is growing weak,
As i succumb to my dying heart beat.
Numbed i've been,
But nothing i could do to retrieve all of it.

Please,
Just spare me a couple of mintues.
Before i actually leave,
Just promise me one last thing,
Never erase me off your precious memories.
For cold lonely nights are meant to reminisce.

Achings.

2004-11-11T10:17:00.000-08:00

Just finished working for like 11 hours...? It totally sucks big time. No sitting at all ( except break which last for half an hour ), can't even LEAN on anything nor even stand still. Aight, that's what they call waiter. No doubt, i'm seriously in love with my work place. The ambience is just so romantic and perfect, plus the mesmerising music played by the band. It really tears apart all my weariness. I do enjoy every single minute of being there but just that i could not take it physically. Maybe i'm just not used to it.

People there are really friendly and nice. And there's this gal, probably bout 2 years older...? She's kinda sweet and cute. Ha. Aight, i'm gonna end this blog here. Days have been so plain and empty. And ya, met up with HBFs last night for supper. Was really simple one though. Anyway, it's gonna be our DEAREST DARWIN CHAN'S BIRTHDAY AND I SWEAR, HE IS GONNA GET HELL ! :)

Sick.

2004-11-09T08:55:00.001-08:00

The flu is drowning my nose and my throat is on fire. Imagine the contrast between wet and dry. It totally sucks. Just came back from work at Raffles Hotel... Was really nice and time passes real fast. I'm looking forward to it tomorrow... The ambience is great and the customers are friendly. I've seriously got no mood and heart to blog for i'm really feeling miserable right now. That's all for tonite folks. Take care and peace out.

Regrets.

2004-11-06T23:51:00.000-08:00

Haven't really been studying well for these past few days man... Was online and decided to fill up my blog with new post. Went out with Huiling on Thursday to study at Hereen, Spinelli but ended up at marche as it was raining heavily. Wonder what's with the weather nowadays, been so temperamental nowadays... Headed down to Paragon to look for my buddy, Gene. Ah ya, you suck in that outfit. Hahas. Sent her home and overslept on the bus, went back home and slept the whole night through. Finally, i'm able to adjust the correct timing.

Went out with HBFs for buffet at Simei on Friday, wasn't that bad as i thought but the price was kinda expensive though. Head down to Mhd. Sultan with clubbing khakis with Guggles, Meiqi and a few others. Oh ya, HAPPY BELATED BDAY TO YA JAMIE ! Almost everyone was tipsy and Guggles was so damn crazy and cute. hahas. Night ended well but memories started flowing back... I believe that i still do have feelings for her. Been almost 3 exact months since i last seen her face. The face that has had pulled me through the darkest path and brought me back to the earth. I miss her very much.

Went down to CRC on Saturday as i didn't want to be stucked at home with books. Didn't really feel like going but accompanied them as we were supposed to go for some "seesha" session at Parklane. ( ain't sure whether it's the right spelling for it. ) And seriously, to hell with all the EPL matches. Arsenal drew with Crystal Palace, Liverpool lost to Blackburn. What the hell is going on with the PLAYERS !!! Ah fcuk it, i'm gonna quit betting. It's seriously killing my pockets.

Just came back not long ago from a job interview. I'm suppose to go down again on Wednesday to try out. Working environment is very nice and the ambience is just so perfect. It makes me feel cosy and warm; especially with the layout and designs. It's really a good place to be in. The pay is quite decent and the manager is really friendly and warm. Ah... That's all folks. I'm gonna mug now. I wanna get done with all my studies then slowly, finish doing all my wantings. Gonna attend Thai Boxing soon and there's an add on to my wanting list. I wanna learn scuba diving! Alrite, until then... Cya guys.

Stressful.

2004-11-03T20:12:00.001-08:00

Exams are halfway through... Been lacking of sleep really badly. Partly because of insomnia. Gonna get a job soon after my exams... Gonna learn boxing once it ends as well. Nothing much to blog though. Nothing much to elaborate as all i really do is to study and msn. And ya, Happy Birthday to ya Novi. Wish ya all the best =)

Achievement.

2004-10-29T14:57:00.000-07:00

Gosh, i'm finally down with my blog. Was searching for babies photos but could not find it... So decided to use just a plain and simple background and layout. Hope it'd look much relaxing and soothing. Wanted to add songs into it but i'm not sure how it should be done... Couldn't ask for help as i'm doing this at such a wee hour. First time changing the skin by myself and it was really tough man. Or maybe coz i just suck at it.

Went to watch "Cellular" with HBFs then went for supper with alittle sight-seeing. Came back roughly 'bout 5am and talked to brother alittle while before updating my blog. Today wasn't really a pleasant day though... I'm struck with guilt right at this point of time. I've hurt someone after i've led her on for some time... I'm sorry for what i've done but... It's really hard for me ya. Do understand =) Take care of yourself alrite. I'll be there still! =)

Confused.

2004-10-27T23:13:00.000-07:00

I'm really really confuse of what i'm suppose to do... I don't know my feelings towards her, she's nice and sweet, and i'm afraid of hurting her further. Chemistry did spark but not for long, memories are there but not that deep, feelings were there, that's why i'm finding it hard to breathe. Should i just be straightforward or just let time pass...? I really don't know. I just ended a relationship few months back, and i'm unready for the next. 1 year of being attached, now that i'm single, the feelings would be alittle different but as time passes, i'm sure it'll get better. To the person ( you know who are you ), i think it'd be a better idea if we can let some time off each other aight. When i'm done with my stuff, then we shall see alrite.

I just read her blog not long ago and i'm finding myself of guilty of what i've done... I shouldn't have said those words to her when i wasn't even certain of myself. I'm sorry if i've let you down but just that i'm afraid of hurting you more. It sounds ironic and i'm fickle... I don't know what i really want. Let me get over the past completely, before i move on to the next level okay? Thanks for your blessings and supports, i appreciate that very much.

Alrite, i shall blog maybe later on or tomorrow...? Meeting Huiling later to study @ Heeren's spinelli. Cya guys and take care.

Solitude.

2004-10-26T13:06:00.000-07:00

Song: Kavana - Won't you wait for me.

For the past few days, i've met a few people along the way. Wouldn't like to name them out as i'm too tired on elaborating them. Went clubbing last friday with R-er, Jonathan and Daryl. Was pretty nice even if there weren't many of us. Saw quite a few cais down there but all lians... So forget it. I'm not really sure what i've been doing for the entire past week but was just plain rotting and home and trying to stuff myself with books. O's coming really fast... I can feel the pressure from it this time round.

Things are going back to where it dropped... Perhaps that's life ya. But one thing never changes is the way i am. I'm not gonna get affected by anyone of these mishaps even though it has done major impact in my life before. I shan't be bothered with it. I can only remember Lydia, who is in the Aus, called me just a few days back to talk 'bout some stuff. Was pretty nice hearing her voice and knowing that she's doing fine. I really appreciate that Lydia, thanks alot. =)

I'm too tired and exhausted to blog that much now... I'm feeling rather lethargic and my eyes are drowsy. Perhaps i should sum this all up 'bout what happened today. Met a friend of mine to study at library, then head down to Macdonalds with Fan and Eugene. Went back home and waited for my brother to come back then headed down to play billard. Sucks. I didn't even have the mood to... I've gotta study in awhile's time, in the meantime, i would like to apologise as i haven't been updating my blog that much.... But still, thanks for tagging anywae. Alrite, gotta go now. Take care guys.

Satisfaction.

2004-10-20T13:51:00.000-07:00

Phew. I don't know what brings me here, but just felt the urge to have something to type. Went out billard with my brother, sean, sern zhi and jesper, played alittle soccer then watch butterfly effect over my place. And sean really brighten up my day when he brought me the HILARY DUFF POSTER !!! It's now right on top of my computer screen !!! She's just so fabulously, wonderfully, gorgeously, superberly and VERY VERY CUTE! ( pardon my english usage. ) Haven't been doing much stuff these days... But most likely going clubbing with my chionging khakis on friday! Gawd. I miss them so much that i'm starting to wonder whether i'm gay. HAHA. Anyway, i've gotta go study now. Sorry for the boring posts these days... Gotta really mug hard for my exams which gonna happen in about less than 10 days' time.

( PS : was hoping that i'll be able to use different colours everytime. so don't mind the pink eh => )

Uncertainty.

2004-10-19T05:40:00.000-07:00

These past few days haven't been a really good one... Perhaps, one of the worst days i have been... Things aren't like the way they used to be. Life changes, people change as well, love's ever changing as well. But this time, things are going for the worse instead of picking up. I have to thank quite a few people who stay by my side even through such turbulence... Clara, for always being there and giving me the morale support. HBFs, be it anyone, you guys are the true friends who never fails to stand by my side even when i've done you guys wrong. Esther, for being the closest and perhaps, the only one who will never walk out on me for this lifetime. Shufen, for being able to understand the way i'm feeling right now and giving me advices. Terrick, the one who appears to be the one i respect the most for telling me, what i need to do, and have to do. Thank you guys.

I'm not sure how to start or begin the past few days of my life... But it wasn't easy. Perhaps i should just leave it alone and let it flow for some of the things that may seem major to others, ain't what i'm feeling right now. What i really matter most is the love of my life, Novi. It's really upsetting to see her transforming into someone else... Someone who seems do distant, and at the same time, a mystery. I've spent years before to actually unsolve such mystery, but i doubt i'll have the strength and energy to do it once more. Once bitten, twice shy. I'm afraid of losing it all even if i try... I surrender.

Seriously, i don't believe in a blog of stating what i do all the day and night... I'd prefer to voice out what i feel deep within. To those who frequent my blog, i appreciate it alot guys. I'll try and spend more time doing so alrite. And once again, thanks to those who have been in my life. You guys are the best thing that could ever happen. =>

Good old days.

2004-10-17T03:19:00.000-07:00

Went out on friday with family to get new pair of shoes, head down to marche after that. Met up with my brother and his friends as they were celebrating his birthday. Went to Cine to play billard, then went to ktv. Left town at prob. 6, then went back home.

Woke up, took a shower, then head down to HBF's chalet. Did nothing much except rotting down there... Saw a couple of pple i haven't seen for ages; retardo, grinch, fallen, foxy, zan. Something terrible happened halfway through the chalet; an act of a fcuked up bitch. Shan't probe further anymore. Food was great, soccer was bad. Went back home in the morning and woke up just an hour ago... Realise that i haven't been studying hard enough. Time to buck up and no more going out unless it's weekends.

Simplicity.

2004-10-13T04:20:00.000-07:00

Been hanging out with Esther and Meiqi these past few days. Hardly get to see HBFs so often.. Saw Kelvin aka Seng Eng 2 days back. Went for dinner along with Clara and Sherine then head down to my pool side to catch up on our lives. Been quite some time since i last saw him, still the same but grown mature over the years. He's been one of my closest friends of all time even though we seldom go out as often as before... Really miss those days at the old LAN shop located at Grandlink.

Met up with Esther and Meiqi yesterday... But with Kenneth aka Bape and his 2 friends, Melvin and Jeffrey. Coincidentally, Jeffrey's friends are also my friends back in Secondary Sch. Talked quite alot with them over my pool side AGAIN. Guess it's gotta be my second home in times to come. Went back when Meiqi and Esther felt tired... Gals are so typical... Always tired and sleepy! And ya, the funny thing 'bout Esther till today is that, she's afraid of going to toilet alone. Was asked to accompany her to toilet and when i scared her when i said stuffs like careful of the toilet bowl, there might be hand reaching out for you. LOL, she REFUSED to go until i convinced her that i will be waiting for her outside. HAHAHAHAHAA. The night ended in a simple manner... Simplicity is perfection eh. Oh ya, took a couple of pics with Esther and Meiqi. They are just so sweet and perfect! Love ya gals. :) P.S - Refer to gugglez.blogspot.com for the pics.

Chilling.

2004-10-10T02:32:00.000-07:00

Been chilling out these past few days with friends, either watching or playing soccer. Guess the craze for soccer is back again! It's indeed a very good hobby as little money is required, merely just for drinks and it helps us to lose weight! Man, that's what we are dying to do! Now, without soccer for just a day or two, it makes us feel so empty! We are so addicted to it!

Went out with opti, kingred and foxy who was previously known as a butch has transformed into a gay. Had dinner with my family then head down to opti's house to watch soccer, "England vs Wales". As expected, England won, leading 2 goals ahead of the oppenent. Went home at around 3+ as i was infected with their virus. One for all, all for one. All gonna fall sick within this week then... Sharing drinks and ciggs. Alrite, gotta stop here as i'm rushing out for another soccer game with hbf guys. Time to quit smoking, sports for life!

Came back right after soccer, took a shower and went out again to meet Meiqi and Guggles. Met at Coffee Club, left prob. bout an hour or so... Went to Guggles' place to get car then head down East Coast. Chilled for like 15mins when Meiqi hurried us because she can't hold her bladder any longer. But before heading my place for the toilet, we headed down to Carpark H. Yea, we were all kpo on others having their private 'activities' in the car. AND I TRIED DRIVING FOR THE FIRST TIME! IT WAS SO FCUKING FUN BUT I NEARLY KNOCKED ONTO A FREAKING MERCS. HAHAHAHA! Guggles was so nervous and UNWILLING to allow me to drive after that. Dammit, gotta wait for 4 more months before i can actually apply for driving license. Went to my pool again to chill again. Imagine so much of chillings within just a night. But it was quite relax and tranquil by the beach and pool... Simple and nice.

Went home after sending them off... Shortly after that, met up with MeiQi again for supper. This time without Guggles but with another guy whom i've seen before many years back. Kinda know him for who he is but didn't know him that well. Went back home after supper at Geylang. And i've been slacking these past few days. It's time for me to start mugging once the sun's up. Not much time to delay!

Sore.

2004-10-06T01:24:00.000-07:00

Feelings so sore right now. So tired and aching... Went for soccer with HBFs yesterday at Tampines. Gawd, it's been a long time since i last sweat myself out. And guess what, we were all totally exhausted after it. Played for a couple of hours but it sure was nice.

Went to a coffeeshop to chill and guess who came. It's ESTHER aka GUGGLES !!! I was so glad to see her after a period of time. She's almost the same, just put on alittle weight here and there but still looks as gorgeous though. She drove all the way down from her house to my place... Awww, my personal chauffeur. Lols. Her driving skills are absolutely superb and exciting! She would almost make every comments on ever vehicles that went past her. And she'd just SCREAM like nobody's business if the car was too near hers. Imagine someone the height of 1.57m driving a Nissan car, bet she would have to pull her seat right to the front before her legs could actually reach for the pedal :P She drove me back and we sat by the pool to catch up on our lives. A chat of whereby half the time she was suaning me away and listening to my 'plight'.
My brother came down and she got a shock of her life. She was examining his and my face and make comparison between both. Lols. And yeap, i do miss her after so long =)

Went back home and played some fcuked up online league for CS when i'm supposed to be MIA-ing. Damnit, i'm not gonna touch CS anymore! Exams are drawing nearer and i don't wish to dig another grave for myself again. This time if i fcuk it up, i would end up going overseas or kill myself. Once bitten, twice shy. I'm gonna allow myself to let anyone down again... It's time to redeem and amend... Good day to all.

Blend.

2004-09-28T10:54:00.000-07:00

It's been a really long time since i last updated this blog. Sorta forgotten about it totally till Erica mentioned 'bout blogging. Thanks to her, my blog is finally presentable and pleasant to look at. Haven't been really blogging mainly because i was too pre-occupied with other activities and was too lazy to do so. Well, since Erica actually initiated in helping me out on this blog, i shouldn't let her efforts go down the drain, therefore i'm gonna update my blog almost everyday? We'll see how it goes...

Been a really long day for me though i woke up late this noon. Gotta head down Tanjong Pagar for work. The pay is really good! Being paid 100 bucks per day and it lasted barely more than 5 hours a day but too bad, it gonna last for 4 days and they only need 1 person. Met a couple of 'deejays' from Disney and they were pretty friendly. Went home after that around 9.45pm and before i actually have time to sit down and take a sip, i was asked to play an online league. Things didn't work smoothly throughout the match and was quite disappointed with the result. After a conversation over the phone with Melissa, my mood changed for the better and things were much livelier. She's indeed an angel from above! She's just as sweet and gentle as one! After an hour or so, i was back to betting soccer... But this time, smaller bets of course. Trying to recoup what i have lost! Hope things will go well later on and i'd like to thank people who actually visit this blog of mine. Kudos to you guys!

Fatigue.

2004-09-05T08:24:00.000-07:00

It's been quite some time since i last updated this blog of mine. Haven't really got the time to update as i've been over at optimus and bernard's house during the past few days. Quarrelled with aunts over a damn remote control which sounds so damn ridiculous and dumb. I can't fcuking stand them nagging and nagging over the same thing thus i decided to leave the house and went to friends' place, at least a place with a quieter atmosphere. Sometimes i wish to tell them that i'm old enough to know what's right and wrong, as well as what i'm doing! Fcuk! When will one day they will come to their senses that i'm no longer a kid anymore. Damnit.

Can't really remember where i've been over the past few days, probably rotting away over his place training my CS. Damn, i was suppose to quit it but wanted to give it a last shot for the upcoming World Cyber Games which is just around the corner. Went training on Saturday with a new and improved teammate; Chris Fussner. A caucasian who is just so extraordinary NOISY!!! But he's one good friend to be with though. Cheering us up by doing some stupid shits. And yeah, we're starting to talk with his kinda slang. "OH WTF DUDES! TT'S SO GAY!." Things are also looking better in our team, after so long of trainings, we've finally improved! Kudos to you guys, opti, gene, bern, putty and daren. Didn't do much on Saturday though. Was supposed to catch a movie but didn't want to as my attention was caught onto something else...

Went home and slept after the soccer match between England and Austria. It was a fcuking letdown as usual. England didn't even bother putting in efforts to play what they were supposed to. Was leading by 2-0 but ended up with a final score of 2-2. Wonder how much difference they play with and without Wayne Rooney. Slept till 3pm though had a couple of missed call by Darwin. Supposed to accompany him and a few others to Jurong East for some kinda real life shooting event but was way too tired... Called my neighbour, Clara for cigg but ended up sharing a new pack. Haven't seen her for quite awhile, and she does look different today. Perhaps it's just her dressing... But no doubt, she still look as gorgeous as ever. Guess i'll just sign off here, can't think of any more things to write. Meantime, if anyone is interested to know how a competition is held, come down to Suntec on Wednesday!